breaking grounds for You

who am I, that the Lord of all the earth

would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt

who am I,that the Bright and Morning star

would choose to light the way for my ever wandering heart

Life is plain without music

your eyes make mine twinkle. and my heart beat a little crazier.

oh hi there :) This is a journal, emotional recycle bin, confession box, rant zone and a 16ner's exhibit of her individuality and free spirit. Feel free to roam around. :) navigations are the fours lines of lyrics.
they are profile, entries, tagboard and links navigations respectively (from the top).

Monday, October 20, 2008, 12:27 PM

refreshed.

oh gosh. here I go again. My blog is back to its "unworthy-to-read-state".
I extend my sincere (or not so, ha ha) apology to anyone (if there is) who reads my blog for not updating. It seems so that I am not that virtuoso in time management.

A lot of activities in school are eating my time away. And my ministries are adding up. *Thank you LORD for cumulatively trusting me. They are growing too. :) Greater glory to HIM alone. I feel so blessed.

I pray He'll burn me up with even more passion for the lost.

Christians are often criticized, one wrong move and shoosh, everything's wrecked, the good you've done are forgotten, what they remember is that teeny weeny wrong deed. When I say I'm a Christian, I'm not saying I'm perfect.That is why I'm nothing compared to my Savior. Why are people so judgmental? They reason out that we should be almost flawless since we claim to be children of God, His heirs. They've got it wrong, we stumble too. We have our own shares of imperfections, just like everybody else-Christians or not. That's why we need His help. I,too, have a pencil with an eraser. I am not being bitter, intro lang. ha ha. Loosen up!

As I have said in my earlier post, there were times that I felt uncertain, unattached. Though I'm physically present, my heart was somewhere else. It went stone cold. My burden for the lost diminished. I no longer felt excited going to church, to His house. I stopped attending our Music Team practices, that went on for a month. I bet my piano's eating so much dust by this time. (Good thing it isn't like the guitar that when you fail to play it at frequent times, it goes off-tone.)The worse? I spent less and less time talking and listening to Him, until I had no time AT ALL. My mornings were far from what they used to be, devotions were taken for granted,until I had none at all. I nearly became a backslider at heart. I really did feel lonesome. Being away from my Best friend did not make me happy, it was the other way around-no, make it much worse. I would like to think that the reasons why things turned out this way is that I felt that my testimony to my classmates and friends isn't that good, that they might be thinking that I am just "hypocritizing". ( Go back to my intro. ) I thought that my efforts were all nothing but futile, for I can't even make someone ( in school ) believe that I am God-called. ( Irene is an exception I think. As to Chinky, it's a blur, right? And a few people pala! So, it's not "nobody" all in all. That's pretty fair.)I am to iron that out. I swear that from this day onwards, I'll leave the old me behind. I won't care if I am not a pleasure in people's eyes anymore, I'll make myself a God-pleaser instead. I believe that's so much better.I'm willing to burn bridges if necessary.

Anyway, what's on your heart naturally comes out, it manifests, whether you want it to or not. I'll try to talk less, act more. I've got some straightening out to do, as the song goes.
I'm trashing out my "about me " nature, it's all about You, Jesus.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

and it's all about You,
it's all about You Jesus